.Editor's Keep in mind: The adhering to is actually the text message of a letter from Trip Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written significantly about specifics of the mission during the course of the month I've been actually below, primarily for two factors: the first being actually that there has actually been actually quite little bit of opportunity to perform that type of creating, as well as secondly considering that I'm uncertain exactly how pleasant I am actually discussing notions I show to friends and family along with the rest of the globe.Effectively, obviously the world modified today. What I point out or even do is actually quite slight compared to the significance of what occurred to our nation today when it was attacked through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suspect. Difficult to know at whom to guide our anger as well as fear ...I had actually simply finished a variety of jobs this morning, the most time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew participants. In a private discussion adhering to that, the trip plastic surgeon informed me they were possessing an extremely poor time on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He described the circumstance to me as finest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually astonished, after that horrified. My initial idea was that this had not been a genuine chat, that I was still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply didn't seem to be feasible on this scale in our nation. I could not even imagine the details, also prior to the news of further devastation started can be found in.Vladimir came quite rapidly, picking up that one thing really major was being actually talked about. I swung Michael right into the module too. They were also amazed and stunned. After our experts signed off, I attempted to detail to Vladimir and Michael as finest I might the possible size of this show of horror in midtown Manhattan as well as at the Pentagon. They plainly recognized and were actually really understanding.I glanced at the Planet Map on the computer system to see where over the globe our company were and discovered that our company were actually coming southeast away from Canada and would certainly be actually skipping New England in a few minutes. I zipped around the terminal up until I discovered a window that will provide me a sight of New York City and ordered the nearest cam. It happened to become a video camera, and I was actually appearing southern coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess an odd bloom to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the city. After checking out some of the newspaper article we just got, I feel our company were actually taking a look at NY around the amount of time of, or even quickly after, the failure of the 2nd high rise. Just how horrendous ...I panned the camera during the East Coast to the south to see if I could possibly observe any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing showed up.It was actually quite difficult to consider work afterwards, though our team possessed some to perform, however on the following orbit our team traversed the United States further south. All 3 of us were working a couple of cameras to try to receive perspectives of The big apple or Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, but no specific source may be found. It all looked astonishing from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can not picture the terrible settings on the ground.Apart from the psychological influence of our nation being actually attacked as well as thousands of our people as well as maybe some close friends being actually killed, the absolute most mind-boggling emotion being actually where I am is one of isolation.Following day ... I suspect the fatigue as well as emotional strain obtained the greatest of me. I couldn't keep awake as well as remain to create. Today was actually still hard, but our company started obtaining additional info, plus we had the honor of talking directly with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our company that the ground groups will continue to operate as well as guarantee our protection, and also the risk-free procedure of the Station. We also learnt through our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the Course are all completely committed to carrying on secure operations and also help. These were actually certainly never inquiries for me. I recognize all these people! The ground crews have been surprisingly supportive, quite understanding of the effect of the updates, and have made an effort to become as practical as possible. They have actually all been incredibly expert as well as centered though I can't picture the interruption of this form of news being available in as well as the thought and feelings that authorities properties may be at risk. They certainly never bypassed a beat, even when relocating control centers. And a team of elderly personnel and also good friends offered our company a fairly detailed instruction on what was actually known and what was actually being actually performed in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually very handy and sort of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually additionally been actually helpful and also valuable, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were actually unusable, and also stating kind words ...My crewmates have been actually terrific, too. They understand it is actually been a difficult day for me and the people on the ground, as well as they have actually made an effort to become as even keeled as well as useful as possible. Michael also repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And they provide me a lot of area to presume when I needed it. They are actually quite supportive as well as of course shocked at whoever would certainly do this.I understand numerous individuals in Washington, many people that journey to DC and New York City, many that are captains, that I experienced sure I would certainly obtain a minimum of a handful of parts of trouble over the following couple of times. I got the 1st one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I came across Chic during the course of plebe summertime when our company were in the D&B together, and also our company had considerable amounts of classes together. I can't picture what he should of experienced, as well as currently I listen to that he might have increased even further than our experts can even think of by possibly avoiding his aircraft coming from being the one to attack the White Property. What an awful reduction, however I'm sure Chic was dealing with fearlessly throughout. As well as tears do not move the exact same precede ...It is actually complicated to define exactly how it experiences to become the only United States totally off the world each time including this. The emotion that I should be there with each one of you, dealing with this, assisting somehow, is difficult. I understand that our company are on the threshold (or beyond) of an awful shift in the history of the world. Many things will never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the manies thousand and also lots of people straight affected by these horrible acts of terrorism, but perhaps for everybody. Our experts will locate ourselves experiencing in different ways concerning dozens of factors, including possibly room expedition, sadly.It's dreadful to see smoke cigarettes pouring from cuts in your personal country from such an awesome angle. The duality of performing a space capsule committed to strengthening live on the planet and viewing lifestyle being ruined by such purposeful, horrible process is jolting to the psyche, despite who you are actually. As well as the understanding that every little thing will definitely be various than when our experts introduced due to the opportunity we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our nation and in our leadership that we will definitely carry out whatever achievable to better protect her and our loved ones, as well as to carry compensation of what has actually been performed. I have confidence that the great folks at NASA will perform every thing necessary to continue our goal properly as well as return us carefully at the correct time. As well as I miss out on every one of you significantly. I can not be there along with you personally, and also we have a long way to head to accomplish our objective, yet be actually specific that my center is with you, and understand you reside in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... Fortunately, it's been actually a busy week up below. And to verify that, like our country, we are continuing our designated course with organization as usual (as long as achievable). Tonight the current enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber will certainly be launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US opportunity), it will definitely dock with our team, at a port never ever made use of just before on the nadir side of the Company Element. This new module will give our team an additional spot to dock an Improvement or Soyuz and also will give a large airlock with two useable hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which we will certainly do a few of before our company come home.The trouble just before in managing today was actually too little news. The trouble right now is way too much. It came simultaneously when e-mail was brought back, as well as there's inadequate opportunity to read it all! Plus it is actually too challenging to take care of all of it instantly. But I enjoy getting it, and I actually enjoy the excellent letters of assistance as well as friendly relationship I am acquiring.Our team are prospering aboard, getting our job carried out, and also talking about points. Final evening we possessed a lengthy discussion over supper about the implication of these celebrations, the possible activities to comply with, and what need to be actually done. After dinner, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he got coming from pals in Russia stated especially to tell me how regretful they were that this happened, expanding their acknowledgements, and inquiring how I was doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English phrases are actually a lot extremely long to pronounce effortlessly.) Really kind folks.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to send online programs of radio information about the celebration and also connected tales, to make sure I was actually well educated. Every specialist who has actually begun free throw line to review an operation or an issue has at some factor prolonged hellos to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that due to the wedding of remembrance in the US, throughout the day people had actually been bringing blossoms as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, and this evening they were actually lighting candlesticks in the street outside the embassy. How the world has actually modified.People all over seem to be to realize the senselessness and scary in this particular assault. And the enormous loss. Moscow has dealt with these type of concerns in the last couple of years with condo and subway battles, so they are as troubled to get rid of this risk as our experts are. However the bottom collection is that there are actually excellent folks everywhere who desire to stay in calmness. I read through that a child inquired, "United States is actually so good to other nations, our company consistently aid every person, exactly how can they despise our company a lot?".I wish the example of collaboration as well as depend on that this space probe plus all the people in the program illustrate daily will one day influence the remainder of the world to operate similarly. They must!Sadly, our company won't be flighting over the United States during the time people are lighting candles. Don't recognize if our team could possibly find that anyway. We performed, however, find an incredibly unusual as well as stunning sight a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were surpassing it and also it emerged regarding three minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sun hit our terminal, so it was still at night. It resembled a sizable comet with a straight, wide rear silhouetted against the darker world under. Despite some poor lights for some time as the sunlight reached our window at a low position, I managed some video recording of it as first our company passed the rocket, and then watched it start to catch up as it obtained height as well as velocity. I shot up until primary engine cutoff and also booster splitting up happened equally our company moved toward dawn on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary sight in an extraordinary week ...Lifestyle happens, even precede. Our experts're listed here to keep ... Frank.